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Domestic violence Financial control, emotional abuse

This leaflet offers advice to people suffering domestic violence. It offers practical advice on moving away safely, financial support and caring for children. Extracts from the leaflet are reproduced below.

Title: Domestic violence - Financial control, emotional abuse
Authors: Home Office
Number of pages: 8 (2 gatefold pages)
Date published: June 2004
Availability: Download full leaflet PDF 122Kb

If you are being abused by your partner or someone close to you, there are three important steps you can take.

  • Recognise that it is happening to you

  • Accept that you are not to blame

  • Get help and support

Leaving safely

  • Have some money saved in case you need to use a taxi or bus.

  • If you don’t have a mobile, find somewhere you can quickly and safely use the phone should you need to.

  • Take important documents such as your marriage and birth certificate, any court orders, passport, benefit and bank books, and health records.

  • Have a small bag already packed with an extra set of keys for the house and car should you need to leave in an emergency.

  • If you choose to leave, try to take your children with you.

  • Take essential medicines that you and your children may need.

  • Leave when it is safe to do so.

If you later discover that you have left something essential behind, you can always arrange for a police escort so that you can return for it.

How can I help a friend who is experiencing domestic violence?

Here are some basic steps you can take.

  • Most importantly, make sure they are safe. This is the number one priority.

  • Be understanding. Explain that there are many people in this situation. Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk about the abuse. Allow them time to talk, and don’t push them to give too much detail if they don’t want to.

  • Do not criticise the abuser as it will put the person off telling you any more.

  • Be supportive. Be a good listener, and encourage them to express their hurt and anger.

  • Let them make their own decisions. If they aren’t ready to leave the relationship, this is their decision.

  • Ask if they have suffered physical harm. Offer to go with them to hospital if they need to go. If they want to report the assault to the police, help them do this.

Getting a copy

Download 'Domestic violence - Financial control, emotional abuse' PDF 122Kb

Last update: 30 September 2005